i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
