Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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