I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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