:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i've created a new STD.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
