Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
