he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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