You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
