matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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