think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
