I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize