we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize