So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Still dying that you shit outside
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
