I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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