He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
