There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
