Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
