I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
