i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
