he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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