no, he came in my armpit
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
