You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize