MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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