She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We left an ass print on the piano.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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