That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
