Acid is not a monday night drug
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
