We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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