This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize