I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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