why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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