Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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