Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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  (805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1513) Bad night (1694)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Did I miss anything?

  (1-914): View more from New York

  A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.

  (914): View more from New York

  so we also did drugs

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  (914): Did I miss anything? (1-914): A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson. (914): so we also did drugs http://tfl.nu/07bb
  Replies (9) Good night (2770) Bad night (609)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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  (513): Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner. (615): That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right http://tfl.nu/5ajr
  Replies (15) Good night (2499) Bad night (639)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!

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  (413): apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be! http://tfl.nu/gcwe
  Replies (18) Good night (1165) Bad night (2713)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara

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  (740): hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara http://tfl.nu/38gp
  Replies (14) Good night (824) Bad night (5399)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.

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  (314): shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that. http://tfl.nu/a94h
  Replies (16) Good night (1807) Bad night (4141)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?

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  (330): Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling? http://tfl.nu/xujd
  Replies (7) Good night (4873) Bad night (1066)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.

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  (330): I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it. http://tfl.nu/zgfe
  Replies (18) Good night (4258) Bad night (1290)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs

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  (773): btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs http://tfl.nu/a72b
  Replies (5) Good night (2357) Bad night (834)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life

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  (204): I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life http://tfl.nu/rqe5
  Replies (7) Good night (1166) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"

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  (914): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish" http://tfl.nu/lggm
  Replies (15) Good night (4195) Bad night (592)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm

  (1+61): View more from

  At least it wasn't your drinking arm

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  (+61): In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm (1+61): At least it wasn't your drinking arm http://tfl.nu/wwzo
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after

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  (416): no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after http://tfl.nu/d5fh
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (289)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.

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  (603): The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open. http://tfl.nu/aj17
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (193)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(

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  (478): His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :( http://tfl.nu/p6a2
  Replies (3) Good night (152) Bad night (324)

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