Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.

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  (425): my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me. http://tfl.nu/ks5k
  Replies (22) Good night (763) Bad night (5486)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?

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  (321): I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/p7vn
  Replies (39) Good night (745) Bad night (4570)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

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  (248): I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm http://tfl.nu/t2ln
  Replies (105) Good night (9071) Bad night (1231)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You only like me because I'm a challenge

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You already blew me

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  (631): You only like me because I'm a challenge (201): You already blew me http://tfl.nu/s47q
  Replies (21) Good night (6098) Bad night (1229)
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  (510): View more from California

  At what point did I eat out of your mouth?

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  (510): At what point did I eat out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/tcp8
  Replies (9) Good night (988) Bad night (4330)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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  (502): I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap. http://tfl.nu/9a2a
  Replies (25) Good night (4437) Bad night (1530)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night

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  (978): How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night http://tfl.nu/80v5
  Replies (7) Good night (865) Bad night (1983)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.

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  (740): Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever. http://tfl.nu/lye3
  Replies (8) Good night (1989) Bad night (618)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back

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  (585): She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back http://tfl.nu/7ssu
  Replies (2) Good night (1288) Bad night (538)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap

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  (587): Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap http://tfl.nu/qxhg
  Replies (10) Good night (3060) Bad night (911)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  strike, motherfucker.

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  (423): You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em. (423): strike, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/ain2
  Replies (4) Good night (2142) Bad night (572)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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  (812): Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts http://tfl.nu/1kvs
  Replies (11) Good night (671) Bad night (1408)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

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  (972): I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan. http://tfl.nu/tlw1
  Replies (14) Good night (585) Bad night (1671)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.

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  (518): Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try. http://tfl.nu/4xiu
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

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  (347): I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical. http://tfl.nu/o6lg
  Replies (7) Good night (641) Bad night (272)

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