I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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