My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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