I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
