I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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