Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
