Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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