But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
