i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
