I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
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I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
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