I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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