I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Boobs speak an international language.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
