I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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