whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
