If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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