The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he shaved USA in his pubs
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize