We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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