apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
