He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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