I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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