Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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