well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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