so explain again why im purple
no
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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