i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
