Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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