I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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