The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
